I keep thinking I am missing something.  I wander all over the house, the lounge, the bedroom, the bathroom.  Something is not right.  Until I get to the Kitchen and I realise what it is: “Ready, Steady, Cook”.  I never watch it anymore – is it even on the TV these days?  I have graduated to Masterchef.

However to relieve the tension of not watching “Ready, Steady, Cook” whenever I need to I can simply hire my own Brian Turner for the day and forget all my £5 bag of food worries and the best part is that I won’t have to put up with Ainslie Harriott gooning around either (I wonder what he is like on an off day).

Why Fake Faces is under the impression that we need a replica Brian Turner I am not sure, I would have thought that the real one can probably handle all the required media engagements without too much trouble.  Maybe he doesn’t have a car and this is the only solution.  Odd.